Welcome to Your Afterlife Read online

  "I have a question about one of your latest assignments," Renata said, handing over the folder. "Her name is Abigail Campos."

  Odette frowned, staring at the picture on file. "Oh, yes, I remember. Succubus, I believe. Was quite brave the other day. Or quite stupid, depending on what she knew of Lost souls."

  Renata gritted her teeth and leaned over the desk to flip the file open to the fourth page. "She was assigned to the succubus division, but she's asexual. See?"

  "I know."

  "Then why…?"

  "I'm trying a new type of therapy," Odette said. "The poor thing has been living in fear all her life, after all, it would be a shame if she clung to that fear in death. When I first heard about the condition I coddled them, but that's never truly solved a problem, now has it? Perhaps this will help."

  "It's not a phobia she needs to get over," Renata said. "I just don't see any need to make her do something she doesn't feel comfortable with."

  "My dear," Odette said. "Do you have any idea how many things I had to do that I wasn't 'comfortable with' back when I was alive? She might not be happy at first, but she'll get through it, and I guarantee she'll come out a stronger person and a better worker. She hasn't even been up to the surface yet, has she? Her file doesn't show any energy transfers other than a substantial withdrawal."

  "But I just—"

  "The decision is made, Renata. She's been assigned. Now have someone guide her to the surface."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  Renata left the office and strode down the hall, whispering curses under her breath. Her expression shifted from anger to guilt as she opened the door to her quarters and saw Abbie sitting on her plush couch, looking through an old book. A first printing copy of Jane Eyre. Abbie looked up, saw her face, and immediately looked down at the book again.

  "So this seemed to be the only actual book on the bookshelf," she said hurriedly. "Y'know, I love e-readers, but I am gonna miss that… looking over someone's bookshelves while you're waiting for them to get back. I mean, it's not like you can just open someone's Kindle without permission and start scrolling through, right?" She cleared her throat. "This thing's pretty old. You guys do get new books down here?"

  Realizing that she wanted to delay the inevitable conversation, and hoping to lighten the mood, Renata came back with, "Why would we?" and then cursed at herself at the grief-stricken look on Abbie's face. "No, no; I'm teasing. We have plenty of new books. That's just the first one I was able to bring through on my own, so I've always kept it. Here, come with me."

  "Sure that's a good idea?" Abbie asked, slowly getting to her feet. The energy she'd drawn out from the reserves was fading and needed to be replenished. Two more days without going to the surface, and she would most likely be reduced to lying in bed again. But a walk around the common area wouldn't drain her that much.

  "Of course."

  Abbie stumbled slightly on the way to the doorway and Renata hurried forward, hesitating before reaching out to her. "All right if I help?" she asked.

  Abbie nodded, and Renata carefully slid an arm around her waist while Abbie hooked her arm over her shoulders. Renata began to speak as they headed downstairs, telling herself not to read too much into the feeling of being pressed against Abbie's side. "You see, we have access to everything the mortal world does, in a way. We do have the e-readers you mentioned, as well as copies of physical books, but it takes energy to access them. It's our currency, really," she explained. "You don't need money to download a new book, but you do need to use energy for the file transfer. See her?" she said, nodding to a woman descending in front of them who was wearing a gorgeous, clearly expensive jeweled gown. "She's sidhe. Been down here for about eight decades. Very skilled at energy usage."

  "What about the ghosts, then?" Abbie asked. "Don't they have to survive off scraps?"

  "Some of them," Renata said. "Most will reincarnate before too long. Others just live off whatever excess they can manage, while still more do odd jobs for the fae and others in exchange for more energy. The ghosts even have private detectives! It surprised me at first, but I suppose when one isn't given actual work, something has to be figured out."

  They made their way into the common area, where Renata slowly led her over to an enormous alcove filled with paintings.

  "These are nice and all, but I'm not really that into—" Abbie's eyes widened as her eyes locked on a painting of a beautiful church and a few smaller buildings below it, all on an island. "—that's a Van Gogh."

  "Indeed it is."

  "But he never painted Mont Saint-Michel," Abbie murmured, taking her arm from around her shoulder and moving closer to the painting as if drawn by invisible hands. Renata regretted not being in direct physical contact anymore, but the awed look on her face as she stared at the painting more than made up for it.

  "Creative folk don't stop creating just because they've died," she said. "He's done some beautiful work lately."

  "Always did," Abbie agreed, her gaze still on the painting. "Meeting didn't go well, did it?"

  "I'm afraid not."

  "Didn't think so. There are more of these, then? On the walls?"

  "All over the common room. And the books…" She smiled. "So far we have thirty-one libraries, and those are just for the stories written by our residents."

  "Okay." Abbie took a deep breath and then turned around. The look in her eyes was a little panicky, but her hands were steady. "I need some energy. Let's go give this a try."

  Abbie

  Terrible idea, she thought, as Renata ushered her towards one of what seemed to be a thousand staircases. Horrible, terrible, stupid idea.

  But she'd felt what it was like to lose most all of her energy. She never wanted to go through that again. So what choice did she have?

  Abbie looked down at the shoes on her feet. Oddly enough they did inspire her to stand better and improve her posture, shoulders back. But when Renata asked if she was okay, peering up at her, she felt no desire. And if she was capable of feeling it, she would have then.

  Did that mean the shoes didn't work?

  That would be a blessing, Abbie thought. Then that idiot Odette would have to reassign her.

  A tall, striking woman with a puff of curly blonde hair and cheekbones that could cut diamonds hurried up to them then, smiling as she held out her hand. "Hello," she said. "I'm Maja. Renata told me about your case."

  "Maja will accompany you to the surface," Renata said. "Make sure everything goes all right. The location is already set for succubi," she said, stopping at the base of the stairs. "Just… just head up. And remember, you don't have to do a single thing you don't want to. Just flirt and have a drink, if that makes you more comfortable."

  "Wait. You're not coming with me?"

  "I'm a guide," Renata said, giving her a fragile smile. "I stay down here."

  Abbie caught herself just before she could actually beg for her company. Over the past several days, she'd watched as other guides led people around the common room, seen how they led in one person after another after another. Surely Renata should have moved through another ten to fifteen people in the time she was taking up. She'd said that guides stayed down here, so she would listen to that. Otherwise she'd probably get the poor woman fired.

  She swallowed hard at that idea. Whatever Odette ended up deciding, she wanted Renata's memories of her to be good. 'Oh yeah, that one girl who cost me my job' was not what she was after.

  Any hope of having anything else had faded when she'd looked around at the pictures hanging in Renata's quarters. There were pictures of the common area, the libraries—but what had caught Abbie's attention were pictures of her with people.

  There had been an older couple in several of the pictures. Given the facial similarities Abbie had assumed those were her parents. She wondered where they were now. In each picture with her parents, Renata's arms had been around at least one of them; in one she'd been giving her mother a kiss on the cheek.

  Then there
had been the photos of her with past—current? It wasn't as if Abbie had asked—lovers. Two men and three women. In each photograph, there had been physical contact: one picture taken at the moment of a kiss, one where Renata was draped over a laughing woman sitting on a couch, and another where her cheek was pressed tightly to another woman's with both of them grinned at the camera.

  Renata was bi, maybe pan, and definitely tactile as all hell. What would she want with someone like Abbie?

  And this was not a mindset she needed to be getting into right before spending time around people.

  Not just spending time around, Abbie thought as she headed up the stairs. "Shut up, brain," she muttered.

  "What?" Maja asked.

  "Nothing," Abbie said. "Sorry. Little bit nervous."

  "Renata was right," Maja said, resting her hand on the doorknob. "You don't need to do anything your first time out. If you like, you can just watch me. Okay?"

  Abbie nodded, wondering if it was possible for a technically-dead person to pass out.

  "Hey," Maja said, taking her hand off the doorknob and reaching out to cup her shoulder. When Abbie flinched back, she retreated. "Sorry."

  "No, it's okay. I just… touching people has never really been my thing."

  "Odette needs to realize how ridiculous this 'therapy' is," Maja said. "My friends in the reaper division are already reporting an increase in runaways."

  Therapy? Abbie was about to engage in one of her patented Epic Cursing Spirals when the rest of what Maja had said sunk in. "Runaways? People can just… leave?"

  "Not without consequences," Maja amended quickly. "I'm sorry. I never should've said anything."

  "Be that as it may," Abbie said. "Since you did…"

  "Listen, people who run are hunted down by reapers and taken to be forcibly reincarnated. That doesn't tend to make for a happy soul going into the next life. Promise me you won't consider it," she said, keeping her hands to herself this time but ducking down to look Abbie in the eyes.

  "I promise."

  "Good. We'll help you get through it. Ready?"

  Abbie wanted to careen back down the stairs, but instead she gave a quick nod.

  Maja opened the narrow door and Abbie found herself on the street next to a bar that would've had her running the other way screaming in life. Nearly had her doing so now, except that she turned to find that the door had disappeared.

  Probably something like the one that she'd had to deal with right after she'd died, she thought bitterly: it would only reappear once she had more energy.

  Fantastic.

  "You can do this," Maja said. "Just watch me."

  "Okay."

  Maja walked confidently into the bar, a broad, sultry smile on her face. Abbie crept in after her… or at least, she thought she was going to. Instead, she strode in confidently as well, with more of a swing to her hips than she'd ever had.

  If words she didn't intend to speak started coming out of her mouth, Abbie thought, she was going to get back down to the underworld if she had to dig there with a spoon.

  Maja was already out on the dance floor, pressed close to one man while three others watched her, mesmerized. Abbie swallowed hard and walked up to the bar, too aware of how everyone's gaze followed as she went. She glanced down at herself, feeling a dark amusement at the idea of so many people staring hungrily at a girl in an asexual-themed t-shirt, only to see that she was instead wearing the classic Little Black Dress.

  And I suppose I'm also now five foot nine, blonde, and wearing Corvette-red lipstick, she thought, but a glance at the mirror behind the bar revealed that everything except her shoes and clothes were still the same.

  A man sidled up next to her, and she turned to him with a smile.

  "Hey, beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?"

  Ew, she thought. Did that kind of leer actually get results?

  Maybe he didn't realize he was leering. Or maybe he was just as uncomfortable as she was, and overcompensating to hide it.

  Okay. Try to flirt.

  Abbie fluttered her eyelashes—well, maybe. It felt more like she was trying to get rid of something caught in her eye—and smiled. "Hey, big boy. What's your—oh my god, never mind."

  Instead of seeing what an undeniable ball of hopeless she was, he laughed and reached out to take her hand. "First time here, huh?"

  "You could say that," she said, her hand twitching with the desire to pull free.

  "Well, if you're not comfortable, we can always go someplace quieter."

  She blinked. Was this what people actually did? They moved this fast?

  "Tell you what, I'll think about it," she said, reaching out a hand and tracing her fingertip down the side of his face before she got up and headed towards the neon "Restrooms" sign. Along the way, one guy groped her ass and another moved in front of her, trying to tug her onto the dance floor.

  Abbie said the first thing that sprang to mind. "Sorry, married."

  "But are you happily married?"

  "Gross," she grumbled, jerking away from him and hiding in the relative safety of the bathroom. She heard very recognizable noises coming from one of the stalls, and heard a low, dark laugh that sounded a lot like Maja's.

  She could understand working quickly and getting back home, but come on.

  To her surprise, when she went into the stall at the furthest end of the room for at least a little privacy, she found the door back to the underworld, open and welcoming.

  She all but dove for the open door, clattering down the stairs, her relief mixing with joy when she saw Renata had waited for her.

  "I'm back!" she said, and then she took in the stunned look on Renata's face, even as a flock of ghosts came scurrying toward her, reaching their hands out like sinners for absolution.

  "What…?" she asked.

  "You're brighter than I've ever seen anyone," Renata said. "Can't you feel the difference?"

  "I feel great," Abbie said. "But, I mean, I was just happy that the door opened again so soon and that—" That you were still here.

  Renata shook her head, looking baffled. "Here. First thing you do when you get back is touch one of these."

  Abbie pressed her palm to the black square embedded on the stairway wall, watching as an arc of light shot toward the ceiling. "What did that do?"

  "Once you have enough energy, the door opens to let you back in. You pay some toward the communal bank, and the rest is yours. It can also be reversed—that was what the reaper used to give you some energy back. Not surprised you don't remember," Renata continued, when Abbie gave her a confused look. "You were pretty out of it."

  "Yeah," Abbie said. "So I can go get some books now? And hey, can we still eat? I mean, I know we probably don't need it or anything, but if we can just draw things from the upstairs world, you've got to tell me I can access some gourmet chocolate."

  "Of course you can," Renata said. "But let's wait for Maja, first."

  "Sure."

  Maja came down the stairs about ten minutes later, a sated, pleased smile on her face. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of Abbie, and she ran down the remaining steps.

  "New succubi never gain energy so quickly. Sweetie, I thought you were going to stay at the bar! How many did you sleep with?"

  "None."

  "How did… what happened, then?"

  "I sat down and tried to flirt with this guy—I thought it came out silly as all hell, but he didn't seem to mind, so hey. And then I walked by the dance floor and this dude groped at me, and another guy tried to get me to dance but I said no, and then I went into the bathroom and there was the door."

  "So you didn't… you didn't even kiss any of them?"

  "No."

  "What you did has been tried before, of course—gathering energy without 'spending' any, as it were, but how did—don't you just have to get it out of your system?" Then she raised a hand, smiling ruefully. "No, you wouldn't, would you? That's fantastic, Abbie. You can get tons of energy and never have to do a s
ingle thing you don't want."

  What if flirting and letting people get into her personal space was something she didn't want? She'd touched the guy's face because it had seemed like the thing she was supposed to do at the time, but ever since she'd felt like she needed to scrub her hand clean.

  "Yeah," she said, smiling and hoping it looked natural. Maja didn't completely get it, but she was trying. No need to freak out at her. "I gotta run."

  Her gaze darted wildly over the crowd until she found Renata, and then she headed off, hoping the other woman would follow. She did, and by the time Abbie stopped, she had lost all but her and three or four of the most persistent ghosts.

  Renata

  She was still shining. Renata stared, unable to keep her eyes off her. She was leaning against the wall, shooing away a ghost who had ventured too close, and then she looked up and met Renata's eyes and grinned.

  "Damn," Renata whispered, so quietly that she herself could barely hear it. Then she smiled back, raising her voice to its normal volume. "I think this calls for a celebration, don't you?"

  "Sure," Abbie said. "What did you have in mind?"

  "It'll have to be quick," Renata said. "I have to get back to my office."

  "How long do you normally stay in there every day?" Abbie asked.

  "Seventeen hours."

  "So I take it you don't have unions down here."

  "No," Renata said. "We don't have to sleep, don't have to eat… just need to make sure everything keeps rolling smoothly."

  "But you have all this," Abbie said, motioning toward the alcove that led to one of the dozens of libraries. "Don't you even get time to enjoy it?"

  "Seven hours every day," Renata said. "Stay down here long enough, that really adds up. And you'll have more time, of course—after you make your daily energy deposit, you're free to do as you like."

  "How far away is this place?" Abbie asked. She still felt just fine, but Renata was looking a little bit sleepy.

  "Not too far. Once you've been here for another couple of weeks, you'll completely have the hang of Transporting."

  About twenty minutes later, Renata stopped in front of an enormous set of double doors. The doors were covered in intricate carvings of people's faces, and as Abbie watched she could've sworn she saw some of them move.