Winterbourne's Daughter Page 15

  "I went in there once, too," Malaika said.

  "Really?" Gennadi asked. "What happened?"

  "Nothing," she said with a frown. "The guards found me before I even made it ten paces in."

  "And thank the Powers for that," Queen Damayanti muttered.

  "I would have been fine!" Malaika exclaimed. "Look what I can already do!" She motioned to a carafe on the table and made it rise into the air, pouring a drink into her nearly-empty glass. "See? Normally we're at least Jyotsana's age before we can do that."

  "However powerful a sorcerer you may someday be, it's still best―"

  "―to exercise caution, I know," Malaika sighed.

  "One of my friends headed into the forest when she was a little girl," Gennadi said.

  "Really? Who?"

  "Lisette. King Thibault and Queen-Consort Tahira's daughter."

  "One of their children lived?" Queen Damayanti asked. "I was told that their son Lucien and unborn child were killed in the coup."

  "Lucien is Lisette," Grisha explained. "He decided he was actually a girl when he was around nine. After long enough, Nazar indulged it."

  "Then why is she not here?" Queen Damayanti asked. "As the eldest princess, she should surely accompany you."

  "Yes," Emeline said. "Well..."

  "Sadly, she's traitorous," Grisha said. "King Nazar has been kind enough to allow her to stay at the castle, but due to her actions, she was stripped of her rank."

  "You know," Gennadi said, suddenly desperate to change the subject before he gave into the urge to launch himself across the table, "when I was a boy, another kid told me that the best thing I could ever eat was fresh fish from here. Very glad to find out he wasn't wrong."

  "It's something I've missed," Grisha agreed.

  "You must try these as well," Emeline said, motioning the server to give her another Rose Puff. "They're very sweet."

  "I'll try one with dessert, then," Gennadi said.

  "You'll love them." She turned to the server. "What's your name?"

  "Kavi."

  "Well, Kavi, would it be quite all right to pour a few of these into one larger glass? I would hate to keep calling you back; other people want things too, after all, so―"

  "It's not recommended," Kavi said. "They're quite strong. I have to admit, I haven't seen anyone drink three in a row before; normally one is drawn out throughout the meal." He smiled. "You must have even stronger in Winterbourne, yes?"

  She blinked up at him, smiled, her cheeks flushed. "All right."

  "May I try one?" Gennadi asked, and Kavi nodded and handed a cup across to him. Gennadi took an experimental sip and his eyes widened. It was sweet, yes, very much so, but even that couldn't quite mask the burn of strong alcohol.

  He looked back at Emeline to see her down a fourth in one gulp. Kavi grinned and patted her on the back before moving further down the table to bring someone else a tall glass of crystal blue liquid, and Gennadi smiled.

  "You having fun?"

  "Yes!" she chirped. Sitting two seats down from her near the head of the table, Jyotsana looked to her and then covered her mouth to unsuccessfully hide a giggle.

  Then Grisha stood up, taking her elbow. "Mistress, this is no state for you to be in. Please allow me to take you up to your room."

  "But I just said I'm having fun," she said. She got to her feet and then abruptly dropped back into her chair, laughing.

  "You are making a scene!" Grisha hissed. "Now come with me."

  "Oh, that's all right, Gr... Ashoka," Gennadi said. "No need for you to miss the rest of your meal. I'm already full, and besides, fresh air is all Emeline needs. She'll be just fine. It's this door that leads to the beach?" he asked, motioning to a wooden door at the far side of the room. When Queen Damayanti nodded, he helped Emeline to her feet. She laughed again and leaned against him. Grisha, looking furious, sat back down.

  "I'll come with you," Jyotsana said. "I had the same thing happen to me last year."

  "Except for the fact that you knew Rose Puffs were that strong," her mother said, smiling at Jyotsana and taking her hand briefly as she passed by. "Be back inside before dark."

  "All right."

  They made their way down the winding stone stairs to the beach and Emeline sat down, digging her toes into the sand. "'S really pretty out here," she said.

  "That it is," Gennadi agreed, sitting down next to her as Jyotsana moved a little further down the beach, skipping stones across the water. "So, do you see one ocean or two?"

  She laughed. "I know you think this is the first time I've been drink. Been drunk. But it's not."

  "Really?"

  "Mmm-hm. Got the bottle of fire brandy in Nazar's cabinet and downed half of it."

  "You must've been either very happy or very upset."

  "Very upset. Didn't stop being upset after I drank it, either. Dis'ppointing. Always thought you were supposed to get happy after you drink. I can hear the fighters singing from my window, after they leave the tavern."

  "Didn't anyone ever tell you someone of your rank is just supposed to sit up on their throne and look haughty?"

  "Yes, but I never listened," she said and was rewarded for the hesitant smart remark by his laugh. Emeline kept her eyes on the ground, wanting to look at him again, but ultimately too nervous to do so. She tried to think of something else to say, couldn't, nothing in her mind would coalesce enough to form a full thought. She finally managed to tilt her head back up so that she could see his face, blinking when the small motion suddenly made her feel dizzy. Something was familiar in the way he was looking at her, something that called to mind the way Lisette smiled when she told a joke that made her laugh and the way Vasya watched her carefully when she came into his quarters, ready to move closer and hold her or move farther away and give her some space, depending on what she asked of him. "Don't like kissing much," she said absently. "Don't like any of it, really. Always been that way. Always been strange."

  "You aren't strange," he said. Then he smiled. "At least not for that reason."

  "What are we talking about?" Jyotsana asked, sitting down on her other side, and Emeline yelped. She'd forgotten the other woman was there.

  "Kissing," she said.

  "Ohh," Jyotsana said, laughing. "Perhaps I should leave you two alone, then?"

  Emeline shook her head and immediately regretted it. "No, no. You're fine. Just saying I don't like kissing." She wrinkled her nose. "Unpleasant." Then she blinked, smiling. "Like hugs, though! And lying next to someone. Lying next to someone is nice. But then doing nothing always turns into doing something and that's unpleasant, too." She flopped down onto her back. "The water's nice."

  Gennadi laughed. "You won't think so once those Rose Puffs wear off enough to let you feel cold again."

  She shrugged, her shoulders digging shallow grooves into the wet sand, and smiled up at him, giving his hand a pat. "Okay."

  *~*~*

  Emeline slowly opened her door, fully prepared to slam it should it be Grisha. She knew it wouldn't be the best idea, knew he would probably make up some horrific sin she'd committed to tell Nazar about―

  Not that he would have to make up anything; the fact that she'd gotten visibly drunk at a public dinner was bad enough.

  Still. She was not letting him in. He'd shadowed her all day yesterday and today; she needed some rest.

  Smiling with relief when she saw Jyotsana, she opened the door wider.

  "Hi!" the princess said brightly, walking into the room. She held up two small flasks. "I brought Rose Puffs..."

  "What did I do to make you hate me?" Emeline asked, and Jyotsana grinned as she sat down on the bed.

  "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a little while?" she said. "Without Mother or Ashoka hovering next to our shoulders."

  "A grand idea," Emeline said.

  Jyotsana opened one flask and took a tiny sip of the drink inside. "How did you drink four of these?"

  "I'm not sure myself," Emeline said. "W
hat did you want to talk about?"

  "What do you know of the man mother wants me to marry?" she asked. "I have only met him once."

  "I do not know Loyalist Alexei very well," Emeline admitted. "But he has not gone out of his way to sneer at me, so I count that in his favor."

  "Who would sneer at you?" Jyotsana asked. "Would your husband not punish them for that?"

  "King Nazar isn't my husband," she told her. "As I said, I'm simply the Royal Mistress. As such, some of the loyalists respect me, and some wait for the day when the king gets another woman pregnant with a son."

  "Why is a son so important? Can your daughter not take the throne?"

  "Yes. But he would just prefer..." Seeing the look on Jyotsana's face, she whispered conspiratorially. "It's ridiculous, I know."

  "Do you love the king?"

  "No," Emeline said, the admission ill-advised but yet so freeing that she couldn't help but grin at finally saying the words. "No, I don't."

  "Then why do you not marry another?" Jyotsana asked. "I have heard in your kingdom that people do."

  "I cannot," Emeline said. "Not while I'm still the king's mistress."

  "Will Alexei expect to marry someone besides me?" she asked softly.

  "He may," Emeline said. "Would you prefer he not do so?"

  Jyotsana nodded. "I know it must be a lot to ask of Alexei, if he is anticipating two wives or a wife and a husband, but I... I do not know if that is something I want."

  "I'll speak with him and his parents the moment I get back," Emeline promised.

  "Is that too much to ask of him?" Jyotsana asked worriedly.

  "No. You're leaving your home. You need to make sure you'll be happy when you get where you're going, or at least give yourself a good chance at it."

  "If he truly is a decent man, I don't want to make him miserable. I do not understand loving more than one person, wanting to be married to them, but... I know you said you do not love the king, but do you love anyone else?"

  "Yes," Emeline whispered. Her admission that she didn't love the king had been liberating, but this one was terrifying. As long as they were her acquaintances, people she spoke with and enjoyed spending time around but whom she could live without, then she was at least somewhat safe.

  But they weren't simply acquaintances, weren't simply friends. And she had known that for a long time.

  "Who is he?" Jyotsana asked, and then she frowned. "She? They?"

  "They," Emeline said. "One has been a friend to me almost since the day I returned to the castle. Lisette is wonderful. She's bold and confident and everything I'm not. And Vasya... he's fought in the Arena for years but that man has the kindest heart I've ever known, even if he doesn't realize it. He has long been a steadying presence in my life." She saw that Jyotsana looked confused. "What?"

  "My apologies," she said. "I was simply surprised. I thought Gennadi would be one of the ones you named." She smiled. "He is handsome, isn't he?"

  "That he is," Emeline said. "But I can't... it is already foolish for me to feel as I do for the others; there's no point in adding a third."

  "In my experience, arguing for why you should not feel something means that it is already felt," Jyotsana said. Seeing the worried look on Emeline's face, she hurried to change the subject. "Would it be all right for me to bring my maid with me, if I go to Winterbourne? Rachna has worked for me since we were both children; it would be awful to leave her behind."

  "I don't see why not."

  "Wonderful," Jyotsana said, and then both of them looked up when someone knocked on the door. Jyotsana got to her feet first and opened it.

  "Ashoka!" she exclaimed. "How lovely to see you again."

  "You as well, Princess," he said. "Tell me, might I speak with Mistress Emeline for a few moments?"

  "Of course," she said. "And please give my best to your mother."

  "I will."

  Grisha entered the room, the anger in his heart melting at the sight of Emeline. Yes, she had behaved horribly the other night―she was demure and sweet, not a rowdy drunkard―but she had only been trying to relax, to make herself comfortable amongst people who were barely worthy of her company, and had taken it a little far. Such a transgression could be easily forgiven.

  And now they were finally alone. All the years of watching her, of waiting, of hoping against common sense that she would look at him in return―and she was here. Her smile, her body, her light... and she had finally admitted that they were all lucky to have him around. That she was lucky to have him.

  "My mistress," he said. "I came to see how you fared."

  "I'm fine, Grisha. Thank you."

  "Is there anything you need? I could―" He peered at her face. She looked far from welcoming, and he frowned. "What is the matter?"

  She turned away from him. "If I did need anything, I would not look to you for it."

  "What do you―" he began, and in answer she held up her hand, the one with only four fingers left.

  "Oh," he said. "That?"

  "Yes, that!" she hissed.

  "Had I known you've been holding that against me all this time, I would've explained. I did you a favor that day."

  "Kindly refrain from any more favors, then."

  "Nazar wanted to take your tongue. I managed to talk him out of it. I had no idea he would order something so wretched; he was supposed to only put you in the dungeons for a few days."

  She turned back to him, slowly. "Supposed to?"

  "Well, yes. The crime of speaking with your daughter about her true parentage should have garnered you at least a week down there. It would have been a welcome break for you," he assured her. "I would have seen to that. But the king was far harsher than I anticipated."

  She sat down on the end of the bed, fingers woven together tightly enough to whiten her knuckles, and he walked to her side.

  "Get out."

  Grisha blinked, unsure if he'd heard her correctly. He couldn't have. "What?"

  "I said get out! You lying, manipulative―"

  "Emeline!"

  "Do not be so presumptuous as to address me by name!"

  "What's the matter with you?" he asked, nearly retreating. "I've been faithful to you all these years."

  "I never asked that of you!"

  "You cannot tell me truthfully that the thought of us never crossed your mind. There's something here; I've felt it. You have to have, too. We've spent so much time talking these past several days."

  "About customs and traditions and history! I would have spoken so to anyone sent with me."

  Grisha tore at his fingernails, trying to think of some way, any way, to salvage this. "I kept you safe. I took care of several servants who spoke poorly of you. Some gratitude would not be amiss."

  She stared at him for a long moment, and he chanced a smile and a small step closer.

  And she lashed out with her small, pale hand, hitting him in the face.

  "Emeline..."

  She turned away from him then, sobbing, and he retreated.

  This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen.

  Grisha closed the door, trembling as he moved down the hall.

  Emeline listened to the door click shut and gasped in a shuddering breath. She had to get out of here.

  Opening the door slightly, she checked down each side of the hall for Grisha. Not seeing him, she hurried down the stairs and headed out the front doors of the castle, running to the beach where she, Gennadi, and Jyotsana had relaxed.

  She sat down, digging her toes into the damp sand again, trying to regain some of the peace she had felt here the other night.

  Grisha would speak to the king about her, of course. At the very least, she wouldn't be allowed to go on diplomatic missions again. Before she'd left for this one, she'd regarded the idea as a nuisance at best; the thought of being around so many strangers had been petrifying. But there was freedom here, and beauty, and a sense of hope she'd found in very few other places.

  What if she just ran
?

  Emeline bit her lip, staring out at the endless water. No one had realized her absence yet. She could walk on, go close enough to the ocean that it would erase her tracks in the sand. See what lay out there beyond this place, out of the reach of Grisha and the king...

  Vicious animals, she thought. Starvation and dehydration. And how far could she realistically expect to get in bare feet and a nightdress?

  Even if she could run, knew of somewhere safe to go... how could she leave the others behind? She had promised Jyotsana she would have at least one friend in the palace; she couldn't go back on her word. And Lisette and Vasya―and yes, Gennadi as well...

  She heard a splash out in the water and peered out across the gentle waves in search of the fish that had caused it. Instead, a young woman hauled herself up onto an outcropping of rock a short distance from the lighthouse.

  Emeline started to get to her feet, intent on running for help. How had she gotten so far out? She was lucky she hadn't drowned; she―

  Then Emeline froze in a half-crouch, staring open-mouthed at the figure on the rocks. She looked mostly like a young woman, yes... but the bottom half of her was a tail, not legs.

  The position she was in was awkward, but for a long moment Emeline didn't―couldn't―move, fearing that any motion would startle the mermaid and send her back into the water. Finally, when her lower legs began to hurt, she slowly lowered herself back to a more comfortable position on the sand. The mermaid didn't seem to mind or even notice; she simply wrung some seawater out of her long hair and then stretched back on the rocks, her tail lazily flipping back and forth.

  Emeline sat there, her feet growing numb from contact with the cold sand and the dampness soaking into her nightdress, barely noticing any of it. Only after the mermaid finally flipped back into the water in a graceful motion that made Emeline's breath catch did she finally get to her feet and make her way back into the castle.

  "You all right, Mistress?" the guard near the front door asked as she walked past him. "Looked out and saw you on the beach; was about to ask one of your companions to see to you."

  "Thank you, but I'm fine," Emeline said. "Just needed to clear my head a little."